Networking Thursday: The power of asking questions

Sometimes it’s disguised as useless ’smalltalk’, sometimes as being to straightforward or arrogant. But however you look at it, questions are a great way to open doors. And funny enough, it’s something we don’t ‘learn’ in school of from our parents. “Don’t be nosy!”, “Stop being so curious!”,…

questionmark We’re trained not to ask questions, because it might bother people, it might scare them away or it might give the wrong expression. But people don’t hate answering questions. Questions are a great way to make the other person feel important. And that’s what you have to remember. If you’re going to someone to ask questions (unless you’re a journalist or something) is that you’re inferior, the other one is more important than you, otherwise he/she would’ve come to you.

Ask open ended questions. If there’s one thing you should really try to do is to avoid questions where you can just answer with ‘yes’ or ‘no’. When people feel uncomfortable (and they will) they have an tendancy of giving short answers.

One question at a time. I get it, you meet someone who’s on your favourite list. It’s hard to cool down and act relaxed. But give the guy/girl a break! Firing of a tornado of questions will tell him two things for sure. 1. You’re interested in him/her and 2. You’re a nutcase. Breath.. relax…

Always be prepared. You don’t have to ’study’, but at least be interested in what the other person is doing, why would you bother him/her if you weren’t?

KISS. Keep your questions simple. You can adjust according to the person you’re trying to meet without asking childlike ‘Who’s been a little good CEO?’-questions. Just don’t start with asking questions that require a lot of thought. Keep those for later, when that bottle of scotch is on the table. By the way, when that happens… you sealed the deal.

Feelgood. Remember to let the other one shine. Especially if you want something from him/her. There’s really no need to try and outshine someone by parading your knowledge. If you’re really smarter than him/her… shut up!

And that’s what I’m going to do right know. See you next week.